Category: Uncategorized

(Green Bay, Wis) – As of June 1, 2021 all Family Services of Northeast Wisconsin locations have reopened to the public.

Although Covid-19 continues to be a concern in our communities, great things are happening to allow this transition. The vaccine is widely available and anyone who wishes to get vaccinated can. The readiness and capacity of our region’s hospitals is also in a very good spot. The risk is not over, but it has been reduced to a reasonable enough place for us to move forward.

Per CDC guidelines, Family Services staff and clients who have provided proof of vaccination may choose to be unmasked. We do ask that anyone else who is visiting or receiving care at our facilities continue to wear a mask while indoors. Our buildings will also continue to maintain systems that allow for social distancing, such as stickers on the floor and chairs 6 feet apart in waiting rooms.

Now that Family Services has reopened, we anticipate that most people will wish to receive services through in-person visits in our buildings and in the community. However, virtual care will remain an option for those who need it or want it and in situations where a client or staff member is symptomatic.

For more information about our current guidelines or with questions, please call (920) 436-6800.

By Bee Vue Yang
Southeast Asian Coordinator
Sexual Assault Center of Family Services

I’m a first-generation Hmong American. It still sounds a little awkward when I identify as just “Hmong” to Hmong elders because sometimes I struggle with the Hmong language. The Hmong language is not my native language. I was born in La Crosse, Wisconsin, the largest city on Wisconsin’s western boarder along the Mississippi River (51,000+ people). My parents and older brother immigrated to the United States and they settled there in 1987. You are probably wondering why La Crosse, Wisconsin? Well, our sponsors, Grandma and Grandpa Bailey lived there.

I was born in 1988, a year after my family settled in La Crosse. There are faint memories of playing with other Hmong children in the basement of a church as all our parents attended church and then English class afterwards. We must have been attending that church for a while because I’ve seen old photos of me when I was baptized as a baby and then when I was around 4 years old eating animal crackers, sitting around a room set up like a daycare. I am the second oldest of 7 children and I’m the oldest daughter. I have 5 brothers and 1 sister. Growing up, I was taught at an early age to cook, clean, do most of the household chores and help my mom tend to the younger ones. At the same time, I was also expected to go to school, do well in school and be the best in my class. I lived two different lives. I spoke only Hmong to my parents and English to my siblings and at school.

School was very hard. Both my parents and my older brother didn’t speak English. My brother was 6 when they came to La Crosse and so we were all learning English. My dad needed to learn English so he could find work and support the family. I remember struggling most of Kindergarten through 4^th grade. I remember sitting and staring at worksheets when I was in about 1^st grade and not understanding what it said. I didn’t even know if the sheet was upside down because it just all looked like foreign symbols. I was enrolled in an ESL program (English as a Second Language) now called ELL (English Language Learner) that required me to be pulled out of general mainstream classes for specialized and intensive English learning lessons. Then, all of a sudden I was told I didn’t need to go to those classes anymore and didn’t get an explanation. What happened was that I had tested out of the program in 4^th grade. My dad bought me a dictionary after that and told me that even though I had tested out, I still needed to do better. He encouraged me and said “the white people said this book will help; just do it on your own, you’ll get there”. I no longer had my ESL teacher but a red and yellow thick paperback edition of the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

Looking back, during that time of my life it was the start of me trying to disassociate from my culture. I disowned myself and disowned my Hmong identity. I didn’t want anything to do with being Hmong. I hated going to the annual Hmong Cultural festivals and wearing those bright traditional Hmong clothing. I thought it was ugly and that it made me look stupid. My mom would dress me, make me keep it on, but as soon as we got to the place, I would take it all off. Some years, I would make it to the gate of the event just to take some pictures and then walk back to take it off in our van.

It wasn’t until I had my first child that I realized how important it was for my own children to know and understand their cultural roots. I also wanted them to know the Hmong language. I became so obsessed with conforming and assimilating into the American culture that I lost the sense of myself. I became desperate. I didn’t use the Hmong language on a daily basis and so I grasped at anything that could and would help me connect back to my culture. I went as far as enrolling myself into a Hmong language course at my college, reading Hmong words on karaoke videos on YouTube and reading Hmong children’s books to try and retain it. It was so hard and I didn’t understand it. I felt like how I felt in elementary school, except now in reverse; those Hmong words were foreign to me.

Remembering my dad’s encouraging words, how could I quit now? I needed to do it on my own. The past 12 years, I’ve taken my own initiative to re-learn about the Hmong history, my people, the culture, traditions and practices and continue to practice reading, writing and speaking Hmong. I’ve been re-owning my Hmong American identity. I am proud of who I am. I am proud of the Hmong language. I have so much love for my parents on sacrificing everything for a chance of freedom for me. I have an immense appreciation for anything that resembles being Hmong. I’m drawn towards the unique designs and intricate hand-made jewelries and cross-stitched needlework that reflects my beautiful people who live in the mountains.

(Green Bay, Wis.) – Family Services of Northeast Wisconsin, in honor of National Child Abuse Prevention Month, is bringing back its annual “Pinwheels for Prevention” display in April to encourage all individuals and organizations to play a role in making our communities a better, safer place for children.

Throughout April, 144 pinwheels will be displayed outside Willow Tree Cornerstone Child Advocacy Center, an innovative program of Family Services, at 503 S. Monroe Avenue. Each pinwheel represents a child helped at the center so far in 2021. The Pinwheel represents the joys of childhood and promotes the awareness that ALL CHILDREN deserve to be safe and well.

“The main objective of Willow Tree is to provide a more compassionate response to children who have been abused, helping them heal from their traumatic experience and lead successful lives in the future,” said Kristie Sickel, Willow Tree program supervisor and child forensic interviewer.

Roughly 5,000 suspected cases of child abuse are reported in Brown County in a typical year. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the long-term impacts of child abuse and neglect can be profound and may endure long after abuse or neglect occurs. Family Services hopes the display will call attention to the importance of early intervention for victims, as well as prevention programs to ensure that parents have the proper knowledge, skills, and resources they need to care for their children.

“We’re actually reaching out early to all new parents, ideally prenatally, who may need assistance and support in parenting,” said Julie Ferral, manager of the Healthy Families program for Family Services. “Whether it be by connecting them to a resource, providing education on healthy parenting, or providing them long-term support through intensive home visiting.”

To learn more about Family Services programs, make a donation, or donate to the Willow Tree wish list, please click here to visit our homepage.

By Kristi Kunze
Family Support Specialist
Early Head Start

As adults, we make choices every day. It can be simple choices like what to wear, to larger choices like what to make for dinner that impact the entire family.  Many times we do not stop to think about offering our little ones choices during the day because we are running on auto-pilot. We offer them what we think they should be eating or playing with, and then wonder why an argument ensues at mealtime when they do not want to eat.

Just like we want to be in charge of the choices we make as adults, children want to be able to make choices in their lives, too. This starts out at an early age.  Being able to make choices helps give children a sense of control in their lives and their environment. It also teaches them lessons about responsibility.

Offering kids choices allows them to feel empowered in their lives. This can lead to fewer power struggles between children and caregivers. Offering choices also gives you, the adult, the ability to redirect the child’s attention to tasks you want them to focus on.  By learning how to make decisions and control impulses from an early age, children learn how to take accountability for their emotions and feelings. And, to understand that as they grow older they can only control their actions and responses, not how others act or respond.

Simple Ways to Involve Children in Making Choices

 

1. At Mealtime – Limit the choices you give them to two acceptable options. Make sure that both these options will achieve your desired outcome (too many choices can be overwhelming to children).

2. Getting Dressed – Let children participate in dressing themselves by letting them choose between two tops to wear.

3. Family Decisions – Let your child pick between two games to play for a family game night. Or, let them choose between two movies for a family movie night.

4. Cleaning Up – Try letting your child decide if they want to pick up their toys before supper or after supper, rather than telling them to do it right then.

5. Positive Reinforcement – Celebrate the choice your child made. You could say, “you chose to pick up your toys before supper, great choice!” This will help them feel confident in their decision.

If your child makes a choice and does not like the consequences of their choices, use that situation as a learning opportunity.  Explain to your child how all of our choices have consequences and what they learned from this experience.  Ask them what they might do differently next time and why.  Allowing children to make their own choices, even though they sometimes may make the “wrong” choice, allows them to learn and grow, and allows us as parents to utilize these moments to teach them.

For more information on how to involve your children in making choices in a positive way, please visit the Conscious Discipline website.

By Shelby Mitchell
Victim Advocate
Sexual Assault Center of Brown County

 

The topic of human trafficking can often be controversial one. Wherever you stand on this issue, it is important to know the facts and understand basic definitions.  The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime defines human trafficking as any situation in which “force, coercion, abduction, fraud, deception, abuse of power or vulnerability, or giving payments or benefits to a person in control” are used to exploit another person. If any of these qualifiers are present, it’s human trafficking.

Many survivors of human trafficking are often subjected to multiple forms of exploitation, including pornographic images.

It has become incredibly common for me to hear from survivors in Northeast Wisconsin that their trafficker forced or coerced them into posing for sexually explicit photos. These images and other video content were then used to maintain control of that victim. Traffickers often share these images online and through various apps. They may also threaten to send the images to the victim’s family and friends. These methods of control further add to the shame that is already felt by many human trafficking survivors.

This type of exploitation is fueled by the increasing demand for nude images and other pornographic content on the web. Data from Webroot Cybersecurity estimates that 35% of all internet downloads are related to pornography. A study quoted in a recent article from Exodus Road also found that data aggregated from 400 million web searches revealed that the most popular term related to sexual searches was “youth.” Additionally, one of the most-searched terms on Pornhub, a popular porn website, is “teen.” This term has remained in their top 10 searches for six years.

If, at any point, a minor is used for commercial sexual exploitation that is human trafficking. Period.

Research has also raised the concern that some people who view pornography will eventually act on the physical desires that they have. This may result in a person paying someone to act out their desires with. This person may not understand that they have fueled the problem of human trafficking in two ways: first, through the consumption of online pornography and the second through in-person sex acts.

There are several things that we, as a society, can do to stop the sexual exploitation of others.

First, we have to say “no” to any content that depicts the exploitation of another human being — especially minors. This extends from the shows that we watch to the other materials we consume such as books, magazines and on social media.

If you see any images on social media that could depict the exploitation of another person’s body, report it. Reports can be made directly through the social media site or reported to the Cyber Tip Line at https://report.cybertip.org.

Another way you can help is by educating yourself on companies that profit from sexual exploitation. A list can be found at https://endsexualexploitation.org/ on the Dirty Dozen list. You can also educate others on the dangers of pornography and the connection to human trafficking. There are many online resources including: Endsexualexploitation.org, PolarisProject.org, Exodus Road, and Shared Hope International to name a few.

And lastly, please remember that any time pornography is produced and distributed at the expense of an individual against his/her will, human trafficking has occurred. Together, we can do our part to end sexual exploitation.

 

Additional Resources:

https://blog.theexodusroad.com/10-tools-to-keep-your-kids-safe-online

https://endsexualexploitation.org/

https://www.missingkids.org/gethelpnow/cybertipline

www.polarisproject.org

 

 

By Rachel Herrmann
Family Support Specialist
Parent Connection – Shawano & Menominee Counties

Traditions are an important part of our lives, including around the holidays. They help build the foundation that we come from. But sometimes, as we grow up, we may feel too stressed or too busy to continue these traditions or share them with our own family. Or, we may have fewer opportunities to do so because of unforeseen circumstances like the COVID-19 pandemic.

This year has been full of challenges and changes that have affected us all as families and individuals. As you read this, I’d like you to take a step back to reflect and remember those times when you were a kid. What traditions can you still carry out this year, and for years to come?

Below are 6 fun ideas to help keep you busy throughout the holiday season. You might just start a brand-new tradition for yourself and your family!

Make Cookies and Decorate Together:  Cookie decorating can add a bit of fun with textures, especially for children.  Spending time together can give a dose of happiness we just might need!

Build a Snowman/Snow Fort:  Take into consideration maybe doing a “virtual” contest with other family members and show off your snowman/fort making skills!

Visit a Tree Farm:  Get outside and enjoy the beauty!  Taking a walk around a tree farm can be relaxing and also a time for some family bonding. Make a tradition of finding the “perfect tree” to cut down, take home, and decorate as a family.

Go Sledding: Have fun! Remember how much you smiled as you flew down that big sledding hill when you were a kid? Plus, It will be great exercise carrying that sled back up that hill! Sledding is just one fun outdoor winter activity to make a tradition. You could also go skiing, snowshoeing, or skating as a family!

Plan a Virtual Movie Night:  Have each family member pick out their favorite movie and watch together.  And if times might call for us to still be apart from loved ones, agree on a movie and come together virtually and watch it together!

Card Making:  Spread some LOVE!  Who doesn’t love getting mail; especially if we can’t be together this year in person?  Libraries can offer some support with homemade card making skills and kids love bringing their ideas to life!

We hope that in 2021 we will be able to be together in person again. Until then, hopefully some of these ideas can still “bring us together,” but safely!

 

By Becca Wilbershide
Child Abuse Prevention Specialist
Willow Tree Cornerstone Child Advocacy Center

 

Child abuse is a topic most parents don’t want to think about discussing with their kids. Unfortunately, it is a conversation that must be had. If you haven’t talked to your child about abuse, it may be because you doubt your own perceptions of what abuse is and how it happens. You might be afraid that you or your child will accuse someone falsely. Or, you may be putting off the conversation out of fear that your child will reveal something that is painful to hear.

Talking to your child about abuse doesn’t have to be scary. Below you will find 3 simple strategies to help you have this conversation, as well as some tips on why talking about abuse is important:

Call Private Body Parts by Anatomically Correct Names

According to Psychology Today, when kids are comfortable using the standard terms for their private body parts, they have more protection against sexual abuse. If your child feels awkward talking about their body parts, or if they feel embarrassed about asking questions, they will be less likely to tell you if someone is touching them inappropriately.

Start using anatomically correct names from an early age. You can begin by referring to them during diaper changes, bath time, when the child is getting dressed and/or when it is time to potty train.  If you are already using nicknames for private body parts, it’s okay to start using the correct names now. Make it clear that although your family has its own nicknames for private body parts, the correct names are what a doctor calls them.  If you are concerned about your child getting in trouble with other adults by using the names, then let the child know that these are PRIVATE and they should not use the names in public places, like at school.

 

Make Household Touching Rules

Have your family all sit down at the table or maybe in the living room and work together to decide which touches you deem safe and unsafe. Display these rules in way that anyone in the family can see the rules at any time. While making the list, talk about touches that are safe and okay to do: hugs, high-fives, knuckles etc., and unsafe: hitting, slapping, kicking etc. Make it clear that the rules apply to everyone inside and outside your home.

While making your list of Touching Rules, be sure to include the “Clean and Healthy Rule.”  This rule states that no one is allowed to look at or touch another person’s private body parts unless they are keeping them clean and healthy. For children, this typically means only doctors and parents. Touching or looking at private body parts under any other circumstance should be listed under unsafe touch. Having this rule will make it easier for your child to know the difference between good touches and bad touches.

 

Let Them Know They Can Talk to You

Let your child know that no matter what they tell you, that you will always have their best interest at heart.  Tell that that you will always believe them and will always listen to them.  Repeat, repeat, repeat. This lets the child know that you are someone they can trust and talk to if something bad is happening to them, without fear of getting in trouble for what is going on.

When it comes to child abuse there are some easy steps to help prevent it.  Teach your children the correct names for their private body parts, make touching rules, and let them know you will always be a person that they can trust.

If you need help with any of these things or have questions please call Willow Tree Cornerstone Child Advocacy Center at 920-436-8881 and ask for Becca Wilbershide, Prevention Education Specialist. Prevention education is a free service provided by Willow Tree that is available to schools, parents, organizations, and more.

By Shelly Missall
Outreach Coordinator, Wisconsin Lifeline

When someone experiences a mental health crisis, it means they are facing the lowest of lows as well as a significant loss of control. This loss of control has the potential to escalate into self-harm, harm of others, suicidal ideation and even suicide attempts.

The struggles of someone experiencing a mental health crisis often do not immediately diminish when the person reaches out for or gets help. They may not be believed or understood. The person in crisis may also experience an even greater loss of control through things such as restraints and isolation, hospitalization, or even jail time. When the mental health crisis is resolved and the person can return to his or her life, you might expect the worst to be over. Unfortunately, that isn’t necessarily the case – but there are ways that we, as a community, can help make that transition easier.

Upon completion of a stay in jail or inpatient treatment, the person who was in crisis will often return to a significant amount of uncertainty. It may mean returning to a life built on secrecy and isolation due to the stigma of mental illness. It could also mean greater uncertainty and isolation from the loss of a job, home, or personal relationships because of their crises.

Mental illness is often referred to as not being a “casserole” disease. If someone you know and care about has a cancer diagnosis, you would tend to rally around the person. You might show your support by wearing colored ribbons or bringing a casserole to help the family out. Likewise, if someone you know or care about reveals a recent diagnosis of diabetes or Crohn’s disease or arthritis, you might inquire what that means for them and maybe even ask how you can help. In the case of a mental health diagnosis, however, these same supportive efforts are rarely offered.

For many of us, mental health triggers uncertainty and discomfort. We aren’t sure what to say or do. We don’t know what might offend or trigger a person, so we avoid. We give the person space and assume that if there is something we can do, that person will reach out and let us know.

Unfortunately, it is because of this same uncertainty, coupled with experiences of stigma, judgement and avoidance, that a person who recently experienced a mental health crisis likely won’t feel safe in making that contact. Worse yet, this time of uncertainty after returning from in-patient care is the most tenuous. According to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (NSPL), the risk of suicide is greatest in the first week after in-patient care.

Although, the NSPL notes that 70% of those who attempt suicide do not attend their first appointment or rarely make it past the first or second session, evidence also shows that follow-up contacts have a drastic impact on reducing suicide in the next three months and create a reduction in suicide likelihood reaching five years beyond.

While crisis centers and outpatient facilities can offer a variety of life-saving follow up, the key to unlocking mental health is community integration. Connecting people to their communities, reducing isolation and stigma can better support those who need it now, while reducing the negative stigma and isolation in the future.

This doesn’t mean you need to bring someone discharged from in-patient following a mental health crisis a casserole, but breaking the cycle of silence and avoidance can create significant impact. The next time you hear of a friend, family member, or co-worker who is struggling with their mental health, try reaching out to let them know you care and you’re here to listen. This can go a long way toward helping create a feeling of belonging in a person’s support network and community. Checking in can be as simple as a text, note or a phone call. It is less about how you connect than making the effort that you do connect to offer your support.

When the person does decide to open up, it is important to be patient, show respect and avoid judgement. Offer your support without delegitimizing their experience. Share with them that while you cannot relate specifically to their illness or situation, you do know what it is like to struggle.

Listening with empathy can help minimize the feelings of fear and uncertainty and move toward a community of acceptance for everyone. Together, we can help reduce the stigma of mental health crises and ease the transition from crisis to healing for those who struggle.

 

 

Sources:

Appleby, L., Shaw, J., Amos, T., McDonnell, R., Harris, C., McCann, K., Kiernan, K., Davies, S., Bickley, H., & Parsons, R. (1999) Suicide within 12 months of contact with mental health services: national clinical survey. BMJ, 318(7193), 1235-1239. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.318.7193.1235

National Association on Mental Illness (2020, August 21). Practice guidelines: Follow-up. https://networkresourcecenter.org/display/practiceguide/Follow-Up

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (2020, August 21). Follow-up matters. https://followupmatters.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/follow-up-starts-here/

 

(Green Bay, Wis.) – Family Services of Northeast Wisconsin, in partnership with Green Bay Packers Give Back, will host the 32nd Annual Green & Gold Gala on Friday, September 18, 2020 from 7 to 9 p.m. as a virtual live-streaming event.

The Green & Gold Gala will begin at 7 p.m. with a pre-show featuring music by the band Hip Pocket, as well as messages from Green Bay Packers Alumni. An entertaining live show will follow at 7:30 p.m. hosted by Packers Alumnus Nick Barnett, local radio personality Nick Freimuth, and FOX 11’s Michelle Melby. This exciting virtual experience will feature an online auction with several premiere items, exclusive messages from Green Bay Packers Alumni, and a conversation with Josh Sitton and Scott Wells of the Packers’ Super Bowl XLV Champion Team in honor of the 10^th anniversary of the Packers’ win.

Tickets to the Green & Gold Gala are typically $250 each, but this year anyone can watch the live show and bid in the online auction for FREE. Those who are interested in participating should register at http://greengoldgala.com.

Raffle Tickets are also available to the public until the live show begins. The Golden Ticket is $100 each for the chance to win your choice of a vacation or a $2,500 Visa gift card. The Green Ticket is $25 each for the chance to win a Traeger Pro 575 Pellet Grill, grilling accessories, and package of premium meats. Winners will be announced at the end of the live show. To purchase raffle tickets, contact Jessica Gaedtke at (920) 436-4360 ext. 1334 or [email protected].

Family Services would like to thank the George Kress Foundation for generously putting forward a $30,000 match for donations raised during the event. Proceeds support Family Services programming across over a dozen Northeast Wisconsin counties. The non-profit organization uses a trauma-informed approach to offer help and hope to over 18,000 children, families and individuals each year who are struggling due to mental or behavioral health problems, isolation, or the trauma of sexual assault or child abuse.

By Kristie Sickel
Program Supervisor
Willow Tree Cornerstone Child Advocacy Center

The flag you see above is one we never wanted to fly outside Willow Tree Cornerstone Child Advocacy Center in Green Bay. We put it up late last week to remember a little girl who died as a result of severe physical abuse. Her abuser was just sentenced to 24 years in prison for her death. Her mother is also charged and awaiting sentencing. That little girl was just 15 months old when she died.

During the investigation, all four of the girls’ siblings were brought to Willow Tree to be medically evaluated for signs of abuse and to talk about what happened in their home. Investigators needed to know if the children had witnessed anything and if they were also being abused. Three of the siblings were older but the youngest was just a baby.

The information we gathered that day at Willow Tree helped our partners get these children to safety. All four siblings were placed into the care of relatives. One of our advocates has provided ongoing support to the family ever since, keeping them up to date on court proceedings.

This case reminds us why Willow Tree is so needed in our community. At the Child Advocacy Center, our staff and our partners work closely together to ensure that abused and neglected children are heard, believed, and kept safe. This is what you are supporting when you support Willow Tree.

When the flag went up on Friday, all three of the little girl’s older siblings stopped by to take a picture with the flag in memory of their sister. It was a truly touching moment and tribute.

Today, August 12, 2020 is our online Day of Giving in place of the 6th Annual Life Saver River Cruise. The event would have raised critical funds for our services. If you haven’t yet donated, please consider making a donation now.

Your support will help more children access forensic interviews, medical evaluations, counseling, and ongoing support. With your help, we can give these children the support they need to be safe and build a bright future.